They don't really warn you about the years that break you open.

If you had asked me on January 1st, 2025, where I’d be today, I would have given you a checklist of achievements and a steady trajectory. Instead, 2025 became the year I doubted everything I have ever believed. It wasn't just a "rough patch", it was a complete dismantling of my foundations.

I spent months grappling with personal struggles that made me question my worth, my faith, and the very ground I stood on. I dealt with disappointments that felt like a series of closed doors, each one louder than the last. I had to learn the agonizing art of letting go, releasing the life I thought I was supposed to have to make room for a reality I didn’t yet understand.

The hardest part was walking away from my career. It was the only identity I’d known for years. Stepping out of that "sure thing" and into this "I’m not quite sure what I’m doing" era has been a wild, humbling ride. There’s a specific kind of vulnerability in telling people you’re "figuring it out," but in that uncertainty, I found a freedom I didn't know existed.

I stopped trying to be the "fixer" for the world and finally turned my heart toward home. I stopped performing for everyone else and started embracing the raw, quiet beauty of my family. I realized that being "there" for people matters very little if I’m not present for the people who love me most. 

I’m not entering this year with a "New Year, New Me" mantra. I’m entering it with a holy mission.

After a year of feeling like everything was ending, I realize now that 2025 was just clearing the soil. I am moving into 2026 with one singular, unshakable goal: To be everything God has called me to be.

I am done playing small. I am done letting my dreams sit in the "someday" pile because I’m afraid of what people might think. This is the year of awakening every dead hope and every stopped dream. If it’s been dormant, I’m waking it up. If it’s been silenced, I’m giving it a voice.

I might not have the full map yet, but I know who holds the compass.

Here’s to the resurrection of everything we thought we lost.

 I wrote about being depressed in 2018, and at some point, I stopped attending church. If you haven’t read that post, please take some time to do so. Today, I want to share a bit more about what really triggered the depression I battled "ISOLATION"

As a young believer who served actively in church, taught in the teens’ church at the time, and held different roles in my parents' church, I was tired. Exhausted. I had expectations that were never met, and in the middle of that exhaustion, I felt I needed rest. I thought stepping away for a bit would help. Stepping away from ministry, from serving people, and without realizing it, stepping away from God.

The real reason I sank into depression was because I thought isolating myself from my faith family was a form of rest. Slowly, a little prayer turned into no prayer at all. A little study turned into complete silence. Days would go by without praying, and it became normal. The enemy’s voice grew louder. Sin became familiar, and guilt dug deep into my heart. I found myself asking, Who am I again?

But God didn’t leave me there. He used a special woman of God who would randomly call and pray for me. I never told her what I was going through; she just knew, somehow. She’d pray with me on the phone often and keep assuring me that everything would be okay. While some people were upset that I was no longer showing up at my duty post, this woman checked on me, called me, and kept praying.

God used her to pull me back. He restored my faith and renewed me with His mercy. He raised someone for me in that season, someone who made sure I didn’t drown in my isolation.

So, dear young believer, here are a few things I’ve learned:

If you notice another believer isolating themselves, go after them. Pray for them. Most importantly, reach out and check on them. They may push you away, but stay in prayer. If someone misses church, don’t assume they’re okay. Call them. Go after them.

If you’re the one feeling the urge to isolate, maybe you’ve been hurt by people who should’ve stood by you, please don’t give in. Ask the Lord for help. Ask Him for wisdom to know who to turn to in this season.

Don’t fall for the trap of being an “online believer.” Since COVID-19, more Christians have chosen to worship online. It’s a trap. In this walk of faith, you need other believers. You need to be challenged in your faith. There’s a deep power in fellowshipping with others. It’s essential for your spiritual growth and health.

 

In 2018, I found myself at a very low point. I had just turned 27 and I wasn’t married. That may not seem like a crisis to everyone, but for me, it felt like a personal heartbreak. I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t answering my prayers. I had been faithful, prayerful, and hopeful—yet nothing seemed to change.

What made it harder was seeing my peers—close friends and cousins—getting married one after another. It was like everyone else’s prayers were being answered while mine seemed to be stuck in heaven’s waiting room. I didn’t dare ask God “why,” but deep down, I was confused, hurt, and even angry.

That anger festered. I became withdrawn. I stopped going to church. Depression slowly crept in, and I began to feel like God had overlooked me. I thought to myself, “I’m a child of God—shouldn’t that count for something? Don’t I *deserve* to be married by now?”

Then came a turning point.

One morning, I knelt to pray—broken, desperate, and in tears. I had exhausted all my options. I had done everything I knew to do. Nothing worked. But that morning, in my weakest moment, I chose to pray one more time. I poured out my heart before God.

And then, in the middle of my tears, I heard a question so clear it stopped me in my tracks:

“Why do you want to get married?”

I froze. It was as if heaven had thrown the question right back at me.

I paused and thought deeply. Why *did* I want to get married so badly?

To my surprise, I couldn’t come up with a genuine answer beyond the societal expectations and personal desires. There was nothing rooted in purpose. Nothing aligned with God's Kingdom. Just my own wants.

Then a scripture came to mind:  

Matthew 6:33 – “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

That was the moment my perspective shifted. I realized that marriage was never meant to be just about me. It was meant to be a tool for fulfilling God's purpose. My marriage wasn’t supposed to be centered on my desires—but on His plan.

That day, I surrendered. I laid down my dreams, timelines, comparisons, and expectations at His feet. It didn’t happen overnight, but with time, my heart began to align with God’s will. I found peace—not in getting what I wanted, but in trusting the One who knows best.

And then, something amazing happened.

On December 31st, 2018, I got engaged.

Not because I had pushed hard enough, cried long enough, or been “good” enough—but because I finally aligned with God’s heart and plan.

What You Can Learn from My Journey

If you’re a Christian feeling stuck, overlooked, or discouraged in any area of your life—especially in waiting seasons—here are three lessons I learned that I hope will encourage you:

1. Align with God’s Will:

   Don’t compare your journey to others. Life is not a competition. Trust that God’s timing for *you* is perfect.

2. Examine Your Motives:  

   Ask yourself why you're praying certain prayers. Could there be selfishness or fear driving your desires?

3. Seek the Kingdom First:

   Put God’s plan above your own. His will is always greater, always better, and always for your good.

Are You in a Waiting Season?

If this post resonated with you, don’t keep it to yourself! Share it with a friend who needs encouragement. And if you’re navigating a difficult season of waiting, I’d love to hear your story—drop a comment below or send me a message.  

Let’s grow together in surrender, faith, and purpose.  

Subscribe to the blog so you don’t miss future posts, and join me on this journey of trusting God’s timing.

You’re not alone—and your waiting is not wasted.

Hi blogloves, it's been a long time. Hope I still have you guys here. I am here to continue sharing what the Lord places in my heart as regards love, life, relationships and personal development. 2019 is here and  I will be doing a lot of posting here because I wouldn't allow this vision to die by Gods grace.

Thanks to all my subscribers who have been with me through thick and thin. 2019 is going to be amazing because God has declared it for us as our year of laughter.

When I heard that, I knew it was meant for me. 2018 was a year of deeper depths in God. I learned a lot of vital lessons I will be sharing with you all. Most importantly God taught me the power of giving him back whatever he gave me because every thing is his. It hurts but God is supreme over all. He is all knowing and very intentional about us. So this is to walking blindly with him, getting to know various aspects of him I never knew.

I got to understand this thing called supernatural supply. I began to see resources flow into my hands from different people and places especially when I needed them. God is a good father, he knows, he sees and he has supplied all that you need no matter what phase of life you are in.

Ministry was a bit not the same. I learned to play by his rules, live his kind of life and trust him through my weaknesses. The more I realized my helplessness the more he stepped in, taking me by the lands and whispering his love.

2019 is here, Gabby will be posting every Thursday. I will be sharing what he leads me to share. We will certainly laugh together.

What is 2019 to you? What word are you working with? Enjoy this ride!!

Hello Blog Loves,

It's been a while since I last posted here, for so many reasons which are definitely for good. I am here to announce to you all things I have been up to since the beginning of the year. This year has been a great one for me. When God told me it was my year of Sacrifice, I think I didn't quite understand that. This October, I understand more than ever what he was saying. I had to let some things go and I am so glad about it.

I have seen a lot of great dimensions in my spirit and in my relationship. Light bearers a singles ministry which I co-founded has been doing tremendously well. God has been indeed faithful. One of the major sacrifice, I had to make was my weekends. I had to give them up for my school of ministry training which I did for 6 months. Those 6 months were the most rigorous 6 months of my life. I don't regret them at all.  At some point I felt as if I wasn't going to finish. I am excited to say I FINISHED STRONG!



I started my new born and kids photography business. It has been a great learning process for me. I launched AMAH PHOTOGRAPHY some months ago. God has been faithful and true to his Word. I have been growing in ways I cannot even explain. I have learned in this journey how much, aiming for ordinary isn't enough. Friends, let's reach out for more. Be hungry for knowledge and you will be filled. I understand that I should be desperate for the right things and it pays off.

To celebrate 3 years of Gabby speaks blog, and my 26th birthday I will be putting up the first chapter of my book for download. It will be up on this blog for free. This writing a book journey has been a great journey for me. Full of its twist and turns, most of all its been a journey of faith. Do I feel a little scared? Yes, sometimes. Will I overcome? Oh yes. I will love to see your reviews once your done reading. I struggled with sharing about this book because I don't consider myself a good writer. When God gives you a vision he does not consult your expertise because he wants it to be all about him. Thank God for writing mentors who have helped me through this journey. Here is a mock book cover design. The real cover will be up before the official launch of the book.


Enjoy this ride with me, thanks for sticking with me always. God bless you

Today I want to celebrate someone so precious to me. He is one of my favorite persons on earth. A politician to the core. His own is even from birth because he was born at a time of political unrest and uncertainty in the country. He is a very passionate about the less privileged and stands up against injustice. He hates evil and loves good to the core. He believes so much that things can get better.

I love him because he is the business man of the family. The only thing is that he is too strict with money Chai!! Our economist!! He stands out as one person who is incredibly talented and resourceful. Many more years to you the CEO of Sfas. Keep on shining.. God increase your days and make you the best amongst your equals. May you stand tall were others fall.

Enjoy your day.

Words are not enough to describe our last when singles pray. It was an exceptional miracle that kept us in awe. We enjoyed fellowshipping together and we also saw the mighty move of God in action in our midst. Seeing this pictures alone will get you on a spiritual high. When singles pray was organized by Light bearers ministry, a gathering of singles sharing the exceptional love of Christ abroad to all the nations. Singleness is not as unbearable as the world thinks, its a journey we walk together as light bearers hand in hand.

So I have never really been a person who feels the wedding envy.  I will be incredibly happy and be willing to serve at your wedding.  Sometime early this month I think I began to look at my old photos and was terrified "am getting old". Then my very exaggerating eyes now kind of caught a little wrinkle on my forehead!! Hahaha.. You know when the devil wants to plant seeds in your heart he just looks for a little place to start.  Then an old friend now asked me the almighty question *how is your husband*. My heart kind of changed a form of rhythm!!!  Am I getting old or what?????

So, fear got a hang of my inward processes and began to fly from my head to my toe.  Then I began to see a lot of weddings and began to notice all the things I shouldn't have noticed!  How did I get here you may ask?  I don't even know if you ask me.  I overcame this feeling and I will tell you what I am doing and about to do. I will also share lessons the Holy Spirit taught me.

 1. All good gifts come from above.  Really!! Marriage is a gift, it's more like the talent that man going on a journey gave his servant.  It is totally from above.  You know sometimes our motive for wanting to get our own gift could be selfish and we have not yet figured out that we are to trade with the gift.
 My eyes was open to the fact the we are on a vacation. Not a staycation!!  Our lives are borrowed everything we have now is to be used to Gods glory. To bring him praise, invest with them and give account at the end of it. Every gift you got from above isn't yours,  your health, job, marriage, children, ministry, etc.  Nothing, I mean nothing belongs to you. This teaching helped me overcome and fight this fear.


 2.  I will be attending a singles prayer camp.  Did I just say that??  Oh yes!!  This weekend there will be  a prayer meeting for singles in the outskirt of Abuja. It will indeed be a great time to refill. Worry has no place in the presence of God. I will encourage you to join us.  See the flier for more details.  Our guest ministers  are amazing people who have been on the mission field together.  Their walk with the Lord has been amazing.  We will be drinking from their well of wisdom and might in the Lord.

3. God's timing isn't mine.  You know sometimes we could be caught up trying to do Gods things at our own time and getting worried when it isn't working at our time.  I was reminded that for everything in my life there is a season and purpose. The most important thing is that I do what I am supposed to do in this season so as not to skip the purpose of this season.  When fear arise, when you see the wrinkle, when you see the delay, sweetie. Remember this "all the plans of God for you are for good ". Even his thoughts are.  He is intentionally putting logistics in place, people and opportunities have gone ahead.

How have you been able to  overcome the "getting old worry"?

I will be wrong if I say I have no childhood memories. I remember my childhood and I will always remember how much fun  I had. I was born in an average family. You have all the things you needed never what you want. I tried very hard today to remember why I never know how to ride a bicycle till date!!! Yes,I can't ride a bicycle, tried learning it in this old age of mine but it ain't warking!!!! So I gladly gif up!!! The reason is because my dad in his gracious wisdom never,I mean never! bought me one.  He could have bought  one if he wanted to but let me tell you his real reason for not getting us any bicycle, dolls or any of those fancy childhood toys.

He believes that books have more lasting effect on my life on the long run than toys. I believe he was right. Books are powerful. I remember borrowing books from my school library daily. I would always have a new story to read when I get home. I finished reading all books in our library in no time. Let me say this, I have always been a book junky kinda. (Right now I own more books in my phone, tab, laptop and even hard copy than any other material thing: I own a box full of books!!!) I visited the library from time to time and demanded for new books because I had read every book over and over again. The rule from my parents was "finish your book then go and play" as a lover of adventurous play,I would read as fast as I can so I can join the play outside. He made me value books, he forced them on me at first till its now a part of my life. I remember whenever I asked for the meaning of a word he would say, "search it out yourself .You have a dictionary!!"


 I was going through my dad's shelf when I found these books he gave me on my entrance to secondary school.


Sorry!! they are not just the normal kind of story books. I have lost some of them, some I lent people who never returned.. He started buying faith building books for me as early as he could.  I read these books as many times as possible. I must say it paid off


Dear parents, or future parents like myself. Let's build this culture of reading books into our children as early as we can. We are gradually training a generation of empty heads who chase after every screen. They know every cartoon character and never joke with TV time, they shred books and we say its OK! They don't know authors and don't care about illustrators. I remember my favorite publishing company was LANTERN. I always loved any of their stories. Leave your children with true lasting treasures, not just toys. When you give them books it opens up a great world of opportunities and possibility to them even when you are long gone.

If this post blessed you,share please!! Kizzeezz!!!!

What's the best gift your Father ever gave you?

Hello blog sweethearts, it's a new year and I am super excited. It's a new book that has a lot in store for us, I pray as you flip through these pages you find God in them all. So friends, I have a few news for us all. Gabbyspeaks is no longer writing DEVOTIONAL FOR SINGLES this year.  I know right! My heart was broken when I wasn't led to continue the devotional this year. *sobs* God has bigger plans for us you know!!  He is working it all out. Truthfully, I have no idea where he is leading me all I am doing now is follow him blindly.

Here is the good news, we are turning the devotional into a free e-book.. Yipeeee!!!! I never saw that coming. You know I was hoping it will be a 90 day DEVOTIONAL FOR SINGLES but it will certainly be longer than 90 days. I am yet to decide how many days it will be but I will work according to how God leads me. There are certainly a  lot God wants to do with us and through us in this year, let's put our trust in him.

I remember being tempted to set marriage goals for 2017 and I felt it was kind of wrong not a good time *sadface*. There are  a lot to be done for God let's set goals that he gives us not just what we want to do. There could be a lot we want to do but they are not things God wants to do through you.  Let's trust his leading and I believe we will get it right.

I am super excited and I hope to get back to normal blogging though I still feel incomplete every morning I wake up. I miss writing daily devotionals!!!!!  So let's continue talking and blogging about relationships the God kind of way.


 Stay bless. Please subscribe to my blog and please follow me on Instagram (@gabby_speaks) , twitter (@gabby_speeks) and Facebook (Gabbyspeaks).

Happy two years anniversary to Gabbyspeaks.com I am super excited!! Sorry I can't keep calm. This is not a day to be just calm. Chai!!! Gabbyspeaks has grown and I am praying we get better. I am grateful for all my blog friends I met here. I am super grateful I have been able to write here consistently for 2 years. It's not small thing oh! I just can't explain it all!! This is someone that had a great struggle with consistency before. God thank you for showing me that any thing is possible. Glory to your name!!!

You can't afford to miss my 2nd blog anniversary hangout. If you are in Abuja oya hurry up now now. The venue is Millennium Park it's on Saturday the 22nd of October. Email me on Gabbyspeaks@gmail.com So for my online friends today you are free to ask me any question. I mean any question and I will certainly answer, guys. I will answer it is a by force something lol! You can also drop ideas for gabbyspeaks to implement to make this our family relationship stronger *winks*.  You guys mean a lot to me.  Sometimes I feel like quitting but when I remember the great thing God is doing through this blog in our life I just can't help me quitting isn't an option.

I want to share some funny things I have passed through blogging for this 2 years.

 1. Typing on the *laptop* isn't fun again. I mean I can type everything with my phone. As in my phone is like my personal office. Low battery can be frustrating. I can't just imagine one morning without data. Chai!!! I will just be hysterical.

 2. When I proof read a hundred times and see a typo once I post it up. I am like "Jesus was I blind or what"!! How did that get there? This auto correct can so play with someone's intelligence sha!!

 3. Uploading pictures can be so tasking ehen! After taking my time to edit pictures network will just decide to do its own shakara. Sometimes the thing go just tire me!!

 4.  I type on my way to work. I mean I could be walking on wuse bridge and I am typing away on my phone.

 5. I  type in the toilet most times. The place where I am at perfect peace LOL!! 20 minutes in the most divine place can do a whole lot of wonders.

 6. That moment when no one shows up to read a post or watch your vlog and infact no comment sef. And even when there is a comment I keep forgetting to reply. Chai!! I suck in that aspect. It is heart breaking when I write my heart out and no one drops by. It is painful, I mean the kind of pain that can make someone cry. Lol, don't mind me oh..

What I really feel like doing!!

 7. When someone asks me "what are you blogging about"? After 10 minutes of explaining. So you want to be like lindaikeji abi. I just roll my eyes and walk away jare.  

 8. When you type you heart out only to start looking for the post again. Me I won't even come and kill myself I just kukuma look for one old post and repost!!!


I  had fun typing this sha. Don't forget to ask your questions.